5 Things Proverbs Says About Our Words Намуна

Day 3: Our speech should be civil and respectful 

In the Scriptures, kindness, respect, and good manners are not simply “nice” things for certain people; they are considered Christian virtues and are commended: “The one who despises his neighbor sins, but whoever shows kindness to the poor will be happy” (Proverbs 14:21).

In the last year, I’ve heard from many people who have said they no longer speak to a sibling, friend, parents, or someone close to them because politics has so invaded their deepest relationships. No doubt heated arguments have driven a wedge between them. When we think about these types of situations, it’s easy to relate to Proverbs 10:12, which says: “Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses.”

When I mention civility I usually get more than a few eye-rolls from fellow Christians. Many balk at the concept, fearing that it means a turn toward squishiness or a lack of deep conviction. 

It is important to understand that true civility is not a sign of weakness but a symbol of strength. The one who is confident in his or her beliefs, and who knows that God has already, in Christ, defeated sin, death, and the grave can stand in and fight for what they believe knowing that there’s no need to resort to ad hominem attacks that often mask weak arguments. 

We can do this without sacrificing truth or a pursuit for justice. In fact, some of the most effective catalysts for change have insisted that civility and activism go together, as Proverbs 25:15 reminds us: “A ruler can be persuaded through patience, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

Gentle answers, pleasant words, kindness, understanding, and a posture of humility will all go a long way toward civil discourse, especially during a time like the one we’re living in right now. 

• What changes do you need to make with your online speech to ensure you’re being civil as you stand for truth and justice? 
• Why is it important to focus on the humanity of those with whom we disagree?