Letting Go: Family Trauma And AddictionНамуна

Take The First Step

Day 1

I truly believe that we all deserve to find freedom and healing in life, but I’ve also learned that it requires the hard work of recovery.

Through my own experience of suffering, God could do for me what I was incapable of doing for myself. 

For many years I struggled with multiple issues: self-hate, an eating disorder, addictive behaviors, relationships, and financial problems—all while calling myself a Christian. I tried so many things to change my behaviors and get free. I even went to the altar every Sunday to get prayed over.

What was wrong with me? Why didn’t God want to heal me? No matter how many times I went to church or learned scriptures, I still struggled with self-destruction, exhausted from wearing a mask, and pretending I was okay.

What I eventually learned was that, from growing up in addiction and abuse, my heart had a lot of deep, hidden wounds that needed to be healed. It would take a lot more than getting prayed over. When you have deep pain from neglect or abuse, you just can’t say be healed in the name of Jesus. 

I needed help. What worked for me was seeing a trauma therapist, going to recovery programs, and spending time with God. And God brought people into my life to love me where I was at. People who understood trauma and could support me through the healing process.

I needed to surrender all the pain buried inside my heart to God, who patiently waited for me to trust Him.

In the beginning, it was tough to trust God, because of all the people who had hurt me. It was hard to believe God even cared. I had to learn how to feel my feelings, even ones of anger, and start trusting God with them.

Work toward trusting God enough to surrender every area of your life to him. Remember it is a process. Change won’t happen overnight.

You are not alone. He is with you on this journey.

Reflection

Take time to sit quietly for a few minutes. Ask God to show you the deep pain in your heart that you need to surrender to him.