Jesus the Great Philosopher by Jonathan T. PenningtonНамуна

Day Five: The Christian Philosophy of Friendship

Abraham was called the friend of God in Isaiah 41:8 (repeated in James 2:23), a lofty claim worthy of his status as the patriarch of God’s chosen people. Likewise, the great prophet-leader Moses alone spoke to God directly “as one speaks to a friend” (Exodus 33:11), resulting in a glory-shined countenance.

When we think of friendship in the Old Testament, David and Jonathan provide an extraordinary biblical example loyal friendship. David and Jonathan had a loving, deep, committed friendship. They were, as we would say today, “kindred spirits” who became fast friends. Their friendship rivals any in Greek and Roman literature and would have made Aristotle proud.

Jonathan describes it in ways that would become very common in the Greek tradition—in David he found “another self.” Jonathan made a covenant of loyalty with David because he “loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1–3). David and Jonathan are presented as models of what most humans have always valued—committed same-gender relationships that provide meaning and flourishing in life that is much deeper and wider than mere sexuality.

Most importantly, the friendships of David and Jonathan center on the beautiful idea of hesed, often translated “covenant faithfulness” or “steadfast love.” This central biblical concept is the primary way in which God relates to His creatures. Hesed is a core characteristic of who God Himself is—He is faithful, loving, making committed covenantal relationships with people whom He chooses. It is no accident that this way that God relates to humanity is the ultimate model for how humans can and should relate to each other. Both marriage and friendship are places where hesed is the glue, the framework, the heart of human relationships. The Hebrew philosophy of friendship is hesed.

Jesus also calls his disciples “friends” and speaks with them in the way one only speaks with a friend—in complete and open honesty. The Greeks called this bold honesty parrēsia, “frankness of speech,” which is only used with trusted friends. The apostle Paul also speaks this same way when appealing to the heavily philosophical Corinthians, so that they recognize his sincerity. He thinks of believers as friends in this deepest sense and therefore he speaks frankly with them (2 Corinthians 7:4). 

The beauty of Christianity is seen in how it takes the idea of friendship and transforms it into a friendship that is centered in the universal image of God in all humans through Jesus. To be a Christian is to be a friend of God, shaped and transformed through a group of friends.

How does your friendship with Jesus influence the kind of friend you are to others?