The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating: 5 Days of Finding God's Goodness in DatingНамуна

Entering the world of online dating can feel like venturing through a magical wardrobe into the mysterious land of Narnia. Even if you’ve heard about this strange world from those who’ve gone before you, you may still have some trepidation about crossing the portal to the unknown. Or maybe a lot of trepidation.

While my twenty-something and thirty-something neighbors were generous to give me dating tips, I didn’t know any “mature” ladies like myself, approaching our fifth decade, who were in the online dating trenches. No one to suggest the best sites for ladies “of a certain age.” No one to advise me about how to attract gentlemen who were as perplexed as I was about whether to swipe left or right. . . .

What I needed was a girlfriend next to me as I clicked around online. If this is where you find yourself today, I’m here to be that girlfriend. Though I’m not claiming to be a dating guru—as more than one gentleman I’ve met online will gladly attest—I have spent enough time in this subculture to have learned a thing or two (definitely more than two). And I’m happy to share some of my hard-won insights in the hopes that they might help you avoid the mistakes I’ve made and guide you as you navigate your own journey.

Whatever your endgame might be—marriage, companionship, Scrabble buddy—there is richness for you in this season. I know from experience that the dating season is fertile ground for personal and spiritual growth. It’s an opportunity for you to trust God to guide you through the foothills and valleys. It’s a place to practice following Jesus more closely—because if it’s true that discipleship happens wherever you are, then direct messages (DMs) and meetups are prime places to practice loving God and others.

It also gives you an opportunity to grow as a person, which, I realize, is about as appealing as getting a root canal. It’s like what I’ve heard my friends who are cancer survivors say when asked to name the best part of having cancer.

Few of us go looking for these kinds of growth opps. And although we can’t control the outcome of this adventure, we can—in every moment—choose to trust God and to be transformed by the Holy Spirit into the mighty women we were created to be.