Be Free From PornographyНамуна

Only Jesus Can Make Us Pure

When a man is sliding down a steep muddy slope, the more he struggles to travel back up, the further he can slide down. I was sliding down a slope, I was knee deep in the mud of pornography, and I had no way of getting out. The only way I was ever going to get out was if someone else would be willing to climb down with a rope and pull me back up. Unfortunately, I had broken my promise to God. I had trusted in the idea that If I do this, God MUST do that. I was no longer doing this (what God desired me to do). Instead, I was doing something else—something shameful. 

In return, I felt like God was going to punish me. I didn’t understand the grace of Jesus at all. I believed my position in God’s eyes was completely dependent on my own performance. As such, I became desperate in my attempts to clean myself back up. But it was to no avail.

I stopped asking God for things. I figured there was no point to it anymore. I figured praying would just make Him angrier. However, because of my great fear of punishment, I eventually decided to ask God for one more thing. One day, I got down on my knees in my room and asked for forgiveness, and I prayed that He would give me the strength to stop looking at porn. That was the day that God gave me the strength to begin resisting the pornography temptation.

What I did not realize in that moment was that He wanted to do a lot more for me than just that. He still wanted to show me what real freedom looks like.