Freedom for Ladies: A Journey to Freedom in ChristНамуна

Codependency

When I got married, I had an extreme wound of rejection, and my husband had a wound of unworthiness, though we were not aware of either at the time. As my freedom journey started 20 years later, I began to change, and my husband and son didn’t like it at first. I told them that I understood, but that the Bible says we change from glory to glory, and I was just getting started! God was freeing me from unhealthy patterns I could not go back to.

Seventeen years later, my husband and I are teaching Freedom in Christ couple’s classes together! God did a miracle in my home. My son paid me the best compliment: “Mom, you stood up to us and found your voice. And now you’re impacting women and families forever.” My family is now characterized by respect.

Codependency is an unhealthy involvement in personal relationships, in which someone is dependent on the behavior of others. God intended us to have healthy relationships, not destructive ones. Think about your relationships. Do you need to set new boundaries? Are you codependent on someone else’s emotions, behaviors, or actions? Learn to hear the Holy Spirit and attach to Jesus, and you can begin to change.

Imagine a triangle representing the unhealthy relationships of victim, enabler, and persecutor. Do you fall somewhere on this triangle?

The victim manipulates through blame and guilt, refusing to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, God wants you to be the victor, empowered to make wise decisions, knowing Him and His great power, silencing the voice of the enemy. 

The enabler constantly rescues people, so they never have to go through anything difficult or hard. They cover for people, saying things like, “It’s not that bad. It won’t happen again.” Instead, become the encourager: Encourage people to step up, ask them questions to help discover possible solutions, and let them know you believe in them.

The persecutor becomes angry and threatening when someone decides to step off the triangle. Instead, become the protector, guarding others and encouraging them to develop healthy relationships. 

The way off the triangle of codependency is Jesus Christ: Depend totally on Him and His Word! Begin speaking the Word aloud over your situation. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and discernment, and begin living God’s way. The people with whom you’re breaking these unholy ties might not like the new you at first. Thankfully, I am proof that God can restore your family.

Pray:

Father God, I’m ready to get off the triangle and trust You. Show me any relationships that need adjustment. Holy Spirit, show me how to walk in love and restructure things. If there are any relationships I need to move on from, please give me wisdom as to how. I want to reflect Your love as I move forward.

Be Still:

Lord, this one is hard to break. Expose anything I’m not seeing. Shine the light on any patterns that need attention. Give me courage to stand strong. If there’s a spirit of fear, break it in Jesus’s name and replace it with love, power, and a sound mind.