Sitting in Grief: A Devotional Journey Towards Standing AgainНамуна

Day 3 - Dealing with Others

After we lost our son, my wife needed time to heal physically from the emergency C-section, and we both needed time to heal emotionally. We were living in a small town at the time where everybody knew everyone else. On our very first venture out, a family next to us thought that for some reason, it was a good idea to start having a theological discussion on if our son was burning in hell or not because he wasn't baptized before he died.

Hopefully, nobody has said anything nearly as hurtful to you, but chances are you've heard, or will hear, some things from people that won't be super helpful in your grieving process.

An acquaintance of ours, after hearing the bad news about our son said, "Well, think of all the fun you'll have trying again." This is a guy who genuinely cared for us, but I'm not going to lie, I did I want to punch him in the face at the time.

You might hear stuff like, "Heaven needed another angel" that may make you want to lose your mind. Though it can be hard, try to remember that these are people who likely love and care for you greatly, but truthfully,  just don't know what to say when someone is hurting so badly. It's tempting to live into that anger you feel because chances are, you may be angry that your loved one is gone and having someone to take that anger out on might be appealing to your subconscious.

The other thing nobody prepared me for was how quickly I would waver between "I want a community here with me" and "I need to be alone right now, please just go away." In the early days of grief, it's perfectly normal for you to switch back and forth between these extremes. multiple times a day.

Even though you may be oscillating between extremes so many times that you feel genuinely horrible for the people around you, remember that you are never too much for Christ to handle. God will never abandon you.