Encouragement For Bonus MomsНамуна

Competition   

by Danielle Novotny

Today’s devotion is geared towards all the moms who are dealing with split homes: bonus moms and biological moms alike! I have some questions for you: What have you done to accept the other parents' involvement in your kiddos' lives? Have you done something you're not proud of towards the other parents? What can you do to have a positive impact in your blended family life?

Let's take a minute to talk about a sticky subject in split homes: Competition. 

Why do we compete? I have talked to so many moms (bonus and biological) about this subject. Most share the sentiment, "Why is it always a competition for our children's love?"

Let's stop competing and putting the kids in the middle of a loyalty war—it's uncomfortable for everyone. Children need to be able to love ALL of the parents involved. Make it a point to talk positively about the other parent. Children should never know about any issues you're facing behind the scenes—it's not their burden to carry.

I was a stepchild growing up; I had two homes. I am now a stepmom and a biological mom. We have 50/50 custody of both girls. I know what it feels like as a child growing up in that environment, and so I can understand the impact our children have from living in two homes. As a mom or a stepmom, what impact do you want to have? Are you teaching them how to love, and are you encouraging them to love others? 

What can you do this week to show appreciation to ALL of the parents involved in your kids' lives? Put your differences aside for ONE week. Send a quick text or send them a card in the mail and tell them something they're doing right. Next, tell your children what you appreciate about the other parent(s) involved. You have no idea how much these children love you all. Let's be intentional in our interactions,  regardless of how the other person is acting.

Have grace for the other mom (biological or stepmom). Acknowledge them. Encourage them. Be kind. Remember, you are all their parents. Your child(ren) love you. Give them the space to do just that. You are making an impact.

QUESTION TO PONDER Have you tried to compete with the other parents involved in your situation? 

WHAT’S NEXT Write down 3-5 things that you enjoy about the other parents involved in your kids’ lives.