AloneНамуна

DEEPER RELATIONSHIPS THANKS TO DISTANCE

I know a few couples who had to endure the dreaded long-distance relationship. In some cases, they did almost all of their dating over the phone and text (this was before FaceTime was a thing). These people grew their relationship to extremely deep levels despite spending relatively few hours physically together in person, and they are happily married to this day. 

What amazes me is that each of these couples have told me some version of the same thing: while the long-distance thing was really hard and they were frustrated by it at the time, they wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world. Why? Because it actually grew their relationship in incredible ways because they were forced to communicate, to get real with each other. They couldn’t fill their time watching movies or hanging out in groups…all they had was time on the phone with the other person, which forced them to actually build their relationship.

What does this have to do with your loneliness during a global pandemic? Well, I’m not telling you to strike up a long-distance romantic relationship as the solution to your situation. But, I believe there is a similar opportunity right now for all of our relationships. I believe it’s possible to emerge from this period of forced loneliness with deeper, better friendships with the people in our lives. But, that’s going to take some intentionality on our part.

What could you do today to get a little more real with your friends? I know the default is probably to keep it light (especially online)…swapping some gifs, jokes through DM, maybe just talking about whatever while you play video games together. Listen, that’s all good stuff and part of what makes life fun…don’t get rid of that. But, how can you intentionally add in some real conversation? Maybe you could reach out and ask what you can pray for. Find out if there’s something they need that you could swing by and drop off. Maybe you need to get real with a friend or coach and tell them what you’ve been struggling with during this time. I know that being vulnerable like that seems pretty scary, but there is a depth of relationship on the other side that kills loneliness like nothing else.