Lust vs. Sexual Desire Намуна

Lust vs Sexual Desire

Let’s start by defining lust. The online dictionary defines lust three ways: 

• A very strong sexual desire.  
• A passionate desire for something. 
• A sensual appetite regarded as sinful.

The second definition could apply to almost anything, from food to a new car, in addition to a person. For this plan, let’s focus on the first and third definitions. They define lust as most of us see it and deal with it every day. It’s being totally focused on someone else’s looks and body. Period. No emotion. No relationship. Nothing on the inside that makes a person who they are. It is seeing their body as something to give you pleasure, devoid of any attachment.

Sexual desire is different. Almost everyone can identify with having a strong sexual desire for someone. During the two years that Nancy and I dated before marriage, that sexual desire was definitely there, but I also wanted to know her emotionally. I wanted a deep connection with her. I think most men and women want the same thing in their marriage - a physical and an emotional attachment at the deepest level. That is the difference between lust and love.

In marriage all of our sexual desire is to be for our spouse. In my marriage, I think my sexual desire has grown over the years. I still have the physical attraction for Nancy. If anything, it is stronger today than ever. Yet, there is a depth to our sexual relationship that goes beyond the outer appearance. It’s that Hebrew word, “dod,” that describes the mingling of souls. It brings the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual all together in sex. It is an incredible gift that God gives us in marriage. Is it worth jeopardizing that for the quick thrill of lusting after someone else? No. Not only is that not worth it, but for me, it would be a cheap imitation of what we have built in our marriage and it would violate the covenant I made to Nancy the day we married.  

Lust or sexual desire. We can spend our time focusing on lust, which is fleeting, or focus on building the sexual relationship with our spouse that will fulfill our sexual desire for a lifetime. We live in a society that is very focused on sex. We have decisions to make every day concerning lust. We have decisions to make every day concerning sexual desire and marriage. You have a choice. What will you choose?

Today’s Challenge: 

When you are tempted to lust, pray. Ask God to give you the strength to walk away.

Going Deeper:

Protecting our marriages is something that we have to do every day. Not giving in to lust is an important part of that protection. What will you begin doing today to protect your marriage?