Safety Gates for MarriageНамуна

Conflict

One of the safety gates we need to put in place is how we handle conflict. Often we seem to handle conflict with our spouse as if we are a parent talking to a child. The moment we do this, it creates a defensive barrier. Talk adult-to-adult. Use “I feel” messages, e.g. “I feel upset when you come home late”. Do not attack or belittle your spouse. 

When we handle conflict correctly, God can use it to grow us and strengthen our marriage as we don’t have to defend our case anymore.

A marriage starts thriving when we consider our spouses needs over our own. Don’t try to get even in your marriage (or any other relationship). Build each other up! Rise above the offence and give your spouse what they need!

We also need to be careful not to live a money-centered life. It is easy to get caught up in the pursuit of wealth and material possessions.   

1 Timothy 6:6-10 warns us that God is to be our focus, not money.  We can easily be influenced by our money-centered society.  

God loves the generous giver, so be careful that you do not turn the principle around by grabbing and holding onto everything you want and only give from the left overs. If this is your focus with finance and possessions, this too could become the state of your relationship; a sense of entitlement, holding onto, grabbing and wanting more and more. Hear the words of Psalm 23 that say, “I shall not want”.  

Our God is a God that gives and marriage is a wonderful place to imitate this principle.