Forgiving My Father, Forgiving MyselfНамуна

Life Isn’t Fair 

Where do we get the notion that life should be fair? We hold an innate sense that bad guys lose and good guys win. It seems so satisfying when everyone gets an equal share of what’s coming to them. Research shows that fairness runs deep in a child’s development. How? I believe that the intrinsic value of fairness was imprinted on our souls by God.

So, let’s lay it out there and acknowledge it: life is unfair. Forgiveness is not fair. Those who wrong us sometimes get away with it, and we end up paying the price. This offends our strong sense of fairness—at least when it comes to being on the “right” side of the equation. And somehow, don’t we usually find ourselves on the right side? Funny how that always seems to happen—the perception of being on the right side—to those on both sides of an incident!

Of course, there is one fatal flaw in such thinking. The apostle Paul told us simply, “What then? Are we better than they? Not at all . . . ‘There is none righteous, not even one’” (Romans 3:9–10). And therein lies the problem with our longing for fairness: none of us get it right. 

Every one of us is guilty of sin before God. We may prefer to look at others, at those who wrong us, as guiltier, more sinful, but the fact is sin is sin. Still, understanding that truth intellectually doesn’t remove our yearning for justice—and our resistance to forgiveness—when we are wronged. So, how do we get unstuck? Even when we want to forgive, we seem unable to muster up the wherewithal to actually do it. It’s not easy. Forgiveness comes at a terribly high price—and unforgiveness—it costs even more.

I’ve been discovering what forgiveness is and what it is not, its ultimate purpose, the power to persevere through it, the choices it requires, and the process that helps us forgive freely. I’m grateful to realize that the better I understand forgiveness, the better I know the Father—the God who embodies forgiveness. And the opposite is just as true: the better I understand God, His nature and character, the better I learn to forgive. As a forgiveness apprentice, I have come to realize that forgiveness is the very heartbeat of God.

What foundational truths do you learn of God’s forgiveness in today's verses?