Strong, Brave, Loved by Holley GerthНамуна

Day Five

Show Up Anyway

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 16:13

I drift tentatively through the door of a ministry event along with other women. We scan the room and look for seats. A place to belong. Isn’t that what everyone wants? Each spot at every table has a little plate with a miniature dessert on it. I choose a chocolate cupcake. 

We talk and laugh, a speaker shares, and then it’s time for discussion questions. The first one: What makes you feel brave? 

I can barely come up with an answer. I say something about thinking back on what God has already done in my life. But I feel as if I’ve left out something important and true. Alone in my room later that evening, I realize it’s this: I never feel brave. I can’t think of a single time brave showed up as an emotion in my world. 

I know what it is to be brave. But in those times, what I feel first is fear. As I think about this, I realize maybe I’ve misunderstood what brave feels like. I thought it was a roar and a lunge. But maybe it is a whisper and a trembling step. I thought it was loud and bold. Perhaps it is quiet and almost invisible. I thought it meant the absence of all insecurity. Yet I’m wondering now if bravery is just faith dancing the two-step with doubt. 

If this is so, then what makes me act brave is also what scares me silly. 

This lets me breathe a sigh of relief because it means I don’t have to wait to be filled with confidence before I can do anything. I can just show up anyway. If that’s so, then I have more courage than I thought. And more answers than I realize, including the one I wish I’d had at the round table with those lovely folks. If I could go back to that moment, I’d say, “I’m not sure what makes me brave, but I know Who does. And I know what being brave makes us—strong, fierce, and a force to be reckoned with in this world.” 

God, You give us so much more than just emotion; You give us Your presence, power, truth, and help. Even when we’re afraid, we can show up and be brave because we belong to You. Amen.