A Way Out

Being lonely for too long is a pit, not a pothole. It’s not just a shallow rut you can climb out of by yourself. Depending on the depth of your situation, lonely can end up being a grave we’re all susceptible of tripping into as we wander through the twists, turns, ups, and downs of life.

Trying to escape your situation unassisted is similar to the behavior that tripped you up in the first place. Doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity. Fighting to survive by fumbling around in the dark without a friend who’s been in your shoes won’t get you out of your hole.

Breaking free from lonely can’t be done by yourself.

Joseph F. Newton said, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” At first, that idea sounds plausible, but it’s not true. It’s easy to make lonely people our target of criticism and talk about what they are doing wrong. But is that fair? Newton’s premise is that people are lonely because of the way they interact with others: “Well, if she’d stop shutting herself off from the world, she’d have lots of friends,” or “If he’d stop closing the doors on people, he’d be invited into meaningful relationship with open arms.” It’s not that simple. 

Most people who are feeling lonely are not intentionally shutting people out. They just don’t know any other way to handle their pain. Or they might be suffering from social circumstances like divorce, a career change, or family relocation. These challenges are difficult to deal with alone. Especially if you are dealing with them for the first time. If we’re not careful, we enter a negative spiral and trip into a hole of loneliness. By accident.

By God’s grace, you can learn to overcome the pain of lonely and bury it in the hole left behind. You don’t have to feel alone. There is a cure for your condition. Pain doesn’t need to be permanent. Lonely doesn’t need to last forever.