Mastering The Art Of ForgivenessНамуна

After an Apology Has Been Given and Accepted 

When in the wake of an apology, there are a few important things to remember. Always thank the other party for even the smallest effort to improve things. Not only will you be honoring them, you’ll be inviting more of the same, and making interest-bearing deposits in your relationship account. Work to preserve the dignity and self-worth of others—that’s what God does with us! When you truly forgive, there’s no place for self-righteousness.

Work hard to not bring up the offense again. Keeping score only works in competitive sports; it’s disastrous in relationships. Practicing true, unconditional forgiveness requires us to focus on a person’s worth, not their weaknesses. You must turn your heart away from what was, to what can be. 

Our tendency is to wonder, “Why should I forgive and forget?” Several reasons! Firstly, because God’s Word tells you to do so. Secondly, because you yourself will continue to need forgiveness. Thirdly, because you weren’t built to carry the stress that goes with resentment. You may have heard it said that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Our souls weren’t made to thrive under those conditions!

If you try to cheat the forgiveness process, your unfinished business will keep you undermining your hopes for a whole and happy relationship. Restoration work isn’t for the cowardly or lazy. But the rewards are well worth it. People working on relationships need the healing power that comes from regular doses of courtesy.