The Heart Of Perfection: Trading Our Dream Of Perfect For God'sНамуна

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear

because fear has to do with punishment,

and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.”

(1 John 4:18)

What’s your image of God?

Mine was always benevolent, or so I thought. I rarely heard hellfire-and-brimstone sermons as a child. “God is love” was the mantra in the churches and schools of my youth. I was told early and often that God and my parents loved me, and I believed. 

But I also believed that I had to be a good girl to keep that love coming. And while no one ever spelled it out, I always seemed to know what that entailed: Smile pretty. Stuff secrets and scary feelings. Make us proud. 

If you’re a perfectionist, those messages may sound familiar. Or maybe these are closer to the mark: Be a winner. Don’t be a burden. Suck it up.

Chances are, the adults in your life didn’t know they were sending those messages or how they would impact you. Intentional or not, though, the messages we hear as kids about what it takes to be worthy of love are the ones that shape our image of God. And the most dangerous ones are those we’ve never stopped to acknowledge or interrogate. 

So ask yourself this: Have you ever thought that all that talk of God’s mercy isn’t about you? That if you didn’t do all the things you’re doing now—your daily prayer routine, your service to family and community, your tithing and public witness to the faith—that God might love you less? That He might even punish you? Have you ever told someone about God’s limitless love and forgiveness and secretly thought: That doesn’t apply to me? Have you ever said that you’re one of the good ones—the people God expects to know better—so there’s no excuse when you fail? 

In other words, is your image of God a nitpicking bookkeeper in the sky? Or is it a Father who loves you lavishly, recklessly and relentlessly, like the one who runs to embrace his prodigal son while the son is still a long way off? 

Sometimes it’s hard to see ourselves as prodigals when we’ve spent so many years trying to do life “right.” But Saint Paul says all of us “have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23). We’re all prodigals. So the Father’s ecstatic, infinite, fathomless mercy isn’t just for somebody else. It’s for you and me. And when we open our hearts to a love that overpowering, fear has to flee.

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Scripture: 

Read Luke 15: 11 – 32. 

Reflect:

Even if you’ve always identified more with the older son in this story, put yourself in the place of the prodigal this time. When has God surprised you with mercy instead of punishment? How did that experience compare with past messages you’ve received about your worthiness to be loved? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth about how lavishly and recklessly God loves you—not only on your good days, but every moment of your life, including this one, right now.