Blending A Family 40 day DevotionalНамуна

After the Honeymoon

The Becnel’s married in 1989, blending a family of five beautiful children. After a blissful honeymoon, we came home where our children had displayed a “banner” that read, “Welcome home Mom and Dad! We love you!”

I thought to myself, “Wow, it can’t get any better than this!” Well it didn’t for a long time. Things started deteriorating fast. Within days arguments, harsh words, and hurt feelings surfaced.

We were overwhelmed with multiple issues, and we reacted to the symptoms without understanding the real underlying causes. Long story short, we were doing everything wrong though we thought what we were doing was right.  Our four biggest issues were:

1. Lack of bonding between stepparent and stepchild creating emotional walls and defensiveness,

2. Moe’s way vs. Paige’s way,

3. Interference from extended family,

4. Disagreements about discipline.

We lacked understanding of the many past hurts and broken dreams in each heart that were brought into our new family.

Divorce or any broken home can create a multitude of emotions in the hearts involved, such as disappointments, anger, unforgiveness, rejection, abandonment, resentment, sadness, oppression, confusion, loneliness, doubt, despair, guilt, fear, hopelessness, loss of faith, and the list goes on. We found ourselves in need of healing for our brokenness.

We had “unrealistic” expectations that our healing would come through our new spouse and family members. We learned that people are good at hurting each other, but people living with past hurts are unable to help heal each other. 

As we sought God’s Wisdom for our healing, we began to experience God’s mercy, grace, redemption and restoration. Through the Holy Spirit God is our redeemer, healer, restorer, lover of our soul, and our great reward.

Suggestions:

1. Take time often to hear each person’s heart, encouraging them. 

2. Help everyone to feel a vital part of your family.

3. Evaluate your own expectations. Are they reasonable?

Our prayer for you:

Father, thank You that You are for us, not against us. Thank You for bringing Heaven to Earth in this new home and heal every wound in every heart. Take our selfish hearts of stone that cannot love well, and give us a heart of flesh, a heart that is tender and open to truly serving our spouse and our family well! We ask for all You have for us, and receive it in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry