When Marriage Gets HardНамуна

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

An elderly grandmother went to lunch with her granddaughter who was about to get married. The granddaughter had always admired her grandparents’ marriage. She wanted to remain married for over fifty years just like they did. Thus, she took this opportunity to glean some wisdom from her grandma about how to keep a marriage strong.

“Grandma,” she asked. “What did you do in order to have such a long and satisfying marriage?”

“Oh it’s simple,” her grandma replied without hesitation. “When I got married I decided to list ten of your granddad’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would choose to overlook.”

“You did?” the soon-to-be-bride asked. “What are some of them?” she continued, looking for an example to help her choose herself.

“I don’t know,” her grandma responded. “I actually never did list them. But whenever Granddad did something that made me fume, I’d just say to myself, ‘Lucky for him that’s one of the ten.’”

If you are married, you know by now that you did not marry a perfect human being. Everyone has faults, weaknesses and even oddities. Oftentimes, these don’t come to the surface until after you say “I do.” But living with someone 24/7 reveals a lot. Unfortunately, fault-finding is one of the most tragic things to happen to a marriage. Primarily because there are plenty of faults to be found, on both sides.

But God instructs us on how to maintain a spirit of love and unity in our marriage when He tells us in Proverbs that it is to our own glory to overlook another’s fault. One way to do this is to always start by giving the benefit of the doubt. Rather than jump to conclusions or rash judgments about your spouse’s faults, mistakes or peculiarities, assume the best first. Let that be the foundation for your questions as you seek to understand the situation at hand. Then, if there truly is a fault in play (which there will be from time to time), overlook it. Let it pass. Let it go. Not because we are saying so but because God is.