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Protecting the Flame

Start with a group of preteens caught somewhere between the carefree world of childhood and the pressures of adulthood. Fold in questions of acceptance and identity. Add a cup of insecurity and awkwardness. Top it off with an underdeveloped ability to anticipate consequences and you have a recipe for real trouble.

The middle school cafeteria is a bubbling kettle of such trouble, perpetually on the brink of overflowing.

I came to Christ in the seventh grade, right in the middle of this tumultuous time. Early on, I remember reading 1 Corinthians 6:9–10. The passage made it very clear to me that God did not want people having premarital sex. Filled with new Christian zeal and excitement over finding such an easy to understand passage, I decided to share my findings with some friends at my middle school cafeteria. 

Perhaps it was inexperience or my own underdeveloped ability to anticipate consequences, but the reactions caught me completely by surprise. When I was done explaining what I had found, one of the boys asked me, “so does this mean that you’re a virgin?” 

The question seemed odd since I was pretty sure we all were. “Of course,” I replied. “And I’m going to stay that way until I’m married. You should, too.”

By their reactions, you would have thought they had just detected a lion lurking in the grass. In one moment the conversation turned, and they took off. 

“Too late for me, I lost my virginity years ago,” one shouted.

“Yeah, sex is fun. You should try it,” laughed another.

I knew some of the guys well enough to know they were lying about their levels of sexual experience, but that didn’t matter. In an instant, I became the laughing stock of my peer group. 

As I struggled to understand what to do, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Matthew 7:14, “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

Most of the people I knew were clearly choosing the wide path. It would have been easy to allow those around me to snuff out the flame of faith I had been trying to nurture. But I realizedif I wanted something different in my life, I would have to do things differently. Even if it meant walking the path alone. 

For more on what it looks like to walk the path alone read, “The Man Who Waited” on FamilyLife.com.