Fostering HopeНамуна

JUST KEEP GOING

She was 13 when I met her. She was polite but a little distant and suspicious of me - I suspect that she saw me as yet another adult with lots of questions to ask, but no compelling reason to care about or even consider her answers. I rattled through my usual list. Any major illnesses? Allergies? Medications? Feeling OK today? Then, a question that struck a nerve. 'What grade are you in?' Her head dropped, and the walls defending her soul lowered for a second, revealing shame. 'Sixth, but I'm supposed to be in seventh.' A common answer - I've heard it a thousand times. Educational delay is a common struggle for kids in foster care. The average foster kid is one full grade behind their peers by the time they reach 6th grade. The lack of life stability, both before and after they enter foster care, causes them to miss valuable chunks of school. They change schools frequently, often several times a year. And even if they are able to attend, exactly how are they supposed to pay attention? Can you imagine sitting through math class wondering if anyone knows it is your birthday? Could you learn about history and ignore the thought that your own life is likely sooner to be written on the obituary page than the history book?

My heart broke for her. 'No worries - everyone here is a grade behind.' Her head snapped up, and her eyes met mine with a question. 'Everyone here is a grade behind,' I said again. 'It's because you have moved a lot, right? And every school has a different curriculum, different schedule. Plus, it's not like you haven't had other things to think about. Don't worry about it, just keep going. Keep learning. Keep showing up.' A faint smile, a brief hug, and then she was gone. She needed what we all need. Acceptance. Validation. Encouragement. She needed to know that it was OK to keep going.