Cole & Sav: Put God In The Center Of RelationshipsНамуна

God Helps You Live for Him

Cole

After I committed my life to Jesus, I made the big decision to wait until after I got married to have sex. Sex was the ultimate experience I wanted to share only with the one God had chosen for me. But I also realized I’d made sex the be-all and end-all, as if it were the most important part of marriage. I discovered that you can have an unhealthy view of sex even with a commitment to wait until marriage.

I realized that God didn’t look at me and think I was any better for waiting than someone who hadn’t. He loved us both deeply and equally. He forgives us of all wrongs and redeems any and all situations. I also realized that remaining a virgin until my wedding night wasn’t the real goal. The Bible calls us to purity: trusting that God’s ways are higher than our ways, even if we don’t like or understand them. I had to make the decision to pursue purity daily. I failed often, but God took my struggle and pursuit and turned it into something beautiful. I’m extremely happy I did wait, and after Savannah and I met, we both waited together. 

God enabled us to keep this commitment by accountability to others and by His grace and the power He gives. That’s how God works. It’s awesome when you get to experience it. I know God has blessed our marriage in a powerful way because of it. As we go through life together, we want to show that our relationship is rooted in Jesus, and we both believe in the fruit that will be produced because of us choosing Him first.

Savannah

Cole let me know he’d made a commitment to God to wait until marriage to have sex. In the beginning I felt that way, too—because that’s how Cole felt. As my relationship with God grew, my commitment to sexual purity came out of my commitment to Christ, not to Cole. I surrendered those things I did that separated me from God—having sex, drinking, partying—and I gave them all to God. 

I wanted to live like Jesus, not just give things up. I felt a desire to know God and get close to Him and live for Him. When I share my testimony today, I make it clear that Cole did not save me, but God used him to show me what was possible and then to open my heart up to God with nothing held back.

This also meant holding nothing back from Cole as we grew closer together. This was really tough, because I knew there was a past relationship that would hurt Cole that I hadn’t told him about yet. We had to work it out face-to-face. We cried a lot, and he held me, and when it was over, it was over. I felt a huge weight had been lifted off me. Secrets in a relationship can eat you up and tear you apart. Now that everything was out in the open, my past truly was completely in the past. Cole forgave me for not telling him before, but he also never held my past against me. And I know that God doesn’t either. He has redeemed my past and helps me move closer to Him as I try to live His way.

Respond

What regrets do you have from the past? How have you dealt with their influence on your relationships with others and God?

Where do you need God’s help today to live His way? 

Who can hold you accountable to do this?