What To Do When Envy Steals Your JoyНамуна

Fighting Envy with Love

Love and envy are diametrically opposed. Scripture is explicit about this in one of the most famous definitions of love ever written, 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Cor. 13:5-8a, emphasis mine)

If love and envy cannot coexist because love doesn’t envy, then love will surely be a great aid to us in banishing envy from our hearts and lives.

The practical tips here for acting out the motions of love are just that—motions. Yes, I’m recommending that you fake love until you make it, in this case. The tips here major on behavior over emotion, because although emotion is difficult to generate out of thin air, it does tend to follow action around on a leash.

1. Show love by thanking God for the success of the person you envy.
   Jesus commanded us specifically to pray for our enemies as one way of doing good to them (Matt. 5:43-48). This person may not actually be your enemy—but your envy has made her into your enemy in your own private world. Praying for her, thanking God for her success, is a way to change your heart towards her.
2. Show love by asking God for the further success of the person you envy.
   That’s right. Pray specifically for her success, especially in whichever borrowed glory it is you are envying her for. Ask for good things for your friends the way you would ask for good things for yourself.
3. Show love by enjoying the glory of the person you envy.
   Go through the exercise of doing what you may have avoided for a long time—look upon the glory with an unflinching gaze. Search for opportunities to praise the Father for what he’s made.
4. Show love by praising the person you envy.
   Under normal circumstances, praising something is both a natural result of enjoying it and part of the process of enjoying it. This means that for you to silently, stoically sit and soak in the gifted glory of a friend or acquaintance without expressing admiration would be unnatural. It would also waste a wonderful opportunity for you to do battle with envy.