UNCOMMEN: Code PurpleНамуна

The Empty Nest

 Today’s CODE PURPLE is talking about your kids moving out.

This one may hurt a little bit as we are going through it right now. My youngest son is getting married in less than 2 months, and my oldest son looks to be on the same path soon after. 

We homeschooled our boys, and since we own our own business, the boys grew up interning with us. Then they liked what we do (Studio490 Creative Services and Uncommen) and chose college degrees to work with us full-time. I always tease that we are just like Duck Dynasty without the beards or money. All that to say, we are a very close group that enjoys each others company.

So when my youngest son said, “Dad, I’m getting married” it was like a time-warp. Remembering him as a baby and now seeing him as a man all at once was a little strange. It took me about 2 minutes to wrap my head around the idea and start asking questions. My wife took longer than 2 minutes. 

Our daughter-to-be is a beautiful Godly young woman with all kinds of talent and creative gifts. So, it’s easy to love her and love the idea of both of them getting married. But some couples would say, “now what do we do?”. Dana and I always make time for each other as one of our Love Languages is “quality time together.” 

If you wait until your children move out of the house to try to reconnect with your wife, you may find it a struggle. It may come across as, "now that the kids are gone I have time for you." Invest in the relationship that started everything for you both. Make a date night to go to dinner or out to have coffee. Or even just take walks getting to know each other again. But do it before your nest is empty, and your transition will be more natural.

Uncommen Questions:

Do you put your children ahead of your marriage? You shouldn’t be.

What do you and your wife do to keep your relationship healthy?

Uncommen Challenge:

Invest in your marriage before your children leave the house. Choose a one date night each week to spend time together without your children. It could be dinner, coffee, walks, marriage study, workout together, etc.