When Forgiving Is Too HardНамуна

“I Just Couldn’t Forgive”

After Sheila made her shocking announcement, she went on to tell her story. When she was a child, her family joined a cult where members sold all their worldly goods and go to live together on a ranch.

I don’t know how long they lived there, but from Sheila’s point of view, it was a terrible time, and in the end, her parents got divorced and their whole family was thrown into chaos.

You can imagine how that affected Sheila’s life. In her child-mind, this cult had torn her family apart. She especially hated the cult leader who was at the very core of destroying all that she loved.

As Sheila grew older, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake the despair and pain of her childhood. Many fellow Christians told her, “You need to forgive that cult leader and put this behind you.”

Sheila knew they were right, but she just couldn’t let it go. As she told this part of the story, she began crying again and said with teeth clenched, “I tried over and over to forgive him, but the pain went too deep, and I just couldn’t. I hated what he’d done to my family.”

What a hopeless feeling. Thankfully, her story didn’t end there. After hearing God’s Word on forgiveness for all those hours at this retreat, she began to realize she could forgive that cult leader.

She specifically remembered Mark 11:25 which says, “Whenever you stand praying, if have anything against anyone [emphasis mine], forgive him and let it drop, (leave it, let it go), so that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own]failings and shortcomings and let them drop” (AMP). She realized that verse covered anything that could have happened to her, and she wanted to let it go.

Of course, the cult leader was the name that Sheila wrote in her Bible the night before. She said the moment she prayed to forgive him; she felt a weight lift off her. She said it was the most peaceful, wonderful feeling! And that night, she slept like a log for the first time in years.