I'm a Terrible Person!

If you only knew what I did in the past…

How many of us have said that before, particularly when we begin to think about there is no way that God can forgive us, let alone love us? The negative self-talk is something that is a personal struggle to the point that the glass is always half full and the other half seems to be filled with vinegar.

When thinking about the mistakes made, the sins committed, and the people hurt, it leads me to the natural conclusion that at my core I’m a terrible person and there is no way God can use me. That thought process alone, if left unaddressed, would certainly lead to the evil one winning and at that point he would have one less adversary to deal with.

Perhaps that's why scriptures like what we see in Isaiah is comforting as even with all of the amazing prophecies he proclaimed, when he was getting started he saw himself as a wreck. A tool that Satan uses extremely well is making us feel feel like we are unworthy of responding to the call God has placed in our lives. However, a useful way to flip that thought on its head is to simply remember the Gospel. In reality, all of these negative thoughts and ideologies began after the fall.

Consider the link between these negative thoughts and the forbidden fruit, it truly is a continuation of the massive ripple between man's divine design and man’s narcissistic desires and wallowing. It strikes me that when God works through a man, God has no choice but to work through imperfect vessels trying to be more perfect.

When the thoughts begin to surface that we are a terrible person, it helps to immediately remember what Jesus did for us on that cross, and how at the core we all fall short of the glory of God. So the harsh reality is we all are terrible people. Yet by the grace of God, we have been redeemed through the saving power of Jesus’ blood. That changes everything about everything and it is that reality that we must remind ourselves of often - that you are not your own and that, by choosing to walk with Him daily, that is your identity.

That is a massive change in mindset and takes daily practice to overcome. We have no choice but to accept and try to move on from our flawed nature. It starts with recognizing that yes we are indeed sinners (terrible in our context) and what we need more than confidence, money, or assurance is a Savior. When we recognize that need, we must then flip to the powerful Truth that Jesus fulfilled this in every way and the new identity is waiting for us the moment we choose to pick up our cross and follow Him.

Questions to Consider

1. Considering the idea that God works through imperfect vessels, how does this understanding help you accept your flaws and still see yourself as capable of fulfilling God's purposes?
2. When negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy overwhelm you, how can daily practice and reflection on Jesus' saving grace help reinforce your new identity in Christ, moving beyond the "terrible person" narrative?