People are a Blessing

You need people.

I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but having a community of people who support you during this time is necessary.

The hard part about needing people during a divorce is that you often don’t immediately have the kind of support that you need. When you got married, maybe you left some friends behind or grew apart from others. Maybe you moved away from your hometown and haven’t maintained communication as much as you wanted. You might have focused so much on fixing your former relationship that all the other relationships in your life took a back seat. You may have missed birthday parties, girls' night out, and other events so that you could be present at home. No matter what current state your family and friendships may be in, having supportive individuals in your life is invaluable as God rebuilds and restores hope.

You may begin the process of finding your people by offering reconciliation in any strained relationships you may have (Colossians 3:13). Call someone up, schedule a lunch date with a friend, and say yes to attending the next event. Now is the time to reestablish valued connections that may have been lost over the years (Hebrews 12:14). God created us to desire relationships (Genesis 2:18). We crave them. We long for true intimacy and connection when it comes to relationships. Ask God for humility as you seek to right wrongs in your relationships. Rebuilding ruins is tough work, but through Christ, you can do hard things (Philippians 4:13).

After reconnecting in safe and valued relationships, reach out for new connections with like-minded individuals. This includes utilizing support groups, small groups at a local church, athletic teams, and social clubs. Getting to know new people can be difficult, and learning to trust again after your trust has been broken with people is hard. Remember your healing as you do this; God will enable you to open up to new people and establish new bonds that support your journey (Ephesians 4:32).

Early in my divorce, I reached out to many friends to ask for forgiveness. It also meant forgiving myself for neglecting these relationships. I prayed for God to send me a group of women who would understand my story and help me through the toughest time of my life. God is so faithful. I joined an online support group. I met weekly with four other women going through the same thing as me for over one year. Those women, who had nothing else in common with me, whom I would have never chosen on my own, loved me back to life. They became my people, and we still support each other today.

Prayer:

Thank you, God, for making me in your image and giving me an innate desire for community. Father, you know everything I have been through. You know the people who have let me down, and you see the pain that friends and family have caused. But right now, I am asking you for supernatural strength to heal from the hurt I’ve experienced at other people's hands. Release any anger, unforgiveness, and resentment that I may have. Instead, I ask that you replace it with a willingness to be the kind of friend I desire to have. Teach me that people are a blessing. Help me to be a better support system to those around me as I seek to make new and stronger connections. Remind me daily that you will protect and guide me. May I never forget that I am not alone because you are with me. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Reflection Questions:

1. Who do you need to reconnect with to build a strong support system?
2. How can the lessons you learned from your past help to grow new relationships with valued, trusted individuals?
3. What fears do you need to overcome while building new relationships?