Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah Greshనమూనా
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Day 4: COMMUNITY is what you need.
If you say, “How are you?” to a woman whose husband has just broken her heart, there’s a very good chance she’ll answer, “Fine.”
It’s not true. She’s not fine.
For one thing, she’s lonely. And she’s feeling lots of other terrible things, including what could range from embarrassment to full-on shame.
These aren’t just emotions. They’re military strategies of the enemy of our souls. He is weaponizing your own mind to achieve your physical and emotional isolation.
Do not comply.
Loneliness is an emotion we can, ironically, experience most acutely when we are with people. It’s not the external state of being away from others. (I love solitude!) Loneliness, rather, is an inner mental anguish.
Let’s look at Ephesians 6 again. I want you to see that a woman of faith is cushioned in community! I know because I’ve studied something specific about “the armor of God:" the shield of faith.
Years ago I studied the Roman military armor that Paul would have had in mind when he wrote this passage. I learned some fascinating things about the shield the Roman soldiers carried. It was large—about two by three-and-a-half feet. Crafted of curved wood, it was often covered with a layer of leather that could be soaked in water. This was the secret to putting out flaming darts or arrows.
Imagine holding a shield that large up to protect you. It would get heavy quickly.
Unless you had help. The kind of help that comes from a community of faith.
Another interesting observation is that flaming darts tend to come from above. To protect themselves the Roman soldiers often clustered together in a kind of “turtle” formation. Those in the middle held their shields above their heads to create a roof above them. Soldiers to the outside of the cluster held their shields up to make a wall. When they worked together, they were better protected.
Did Paul have that in mind when he referred to our faith as a shield? It’s certainly a beautiful picture of how community helps protect us.
Go find your friends.
Pray God’s Word: Lord, I want to hold my shield of faith well. Thank you for showing me that it takes a community. Help me find safe women to talk about what my husband and I are walking through. In Jesus’ name, amen.
About this Plan
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This reading plan uses excerpts from Dannah Gresh’s book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage. It’s for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. God has already equipped you for this trial. Dannah will point your gaze toward five powerful tools you need to participate in God’s redemption for your marriage.
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