Witness to Love

Poor Example

With a long drive ahead of me, I hit play on my favorite reality TV star’s podcast, with hopes of being entertained. I decided to listen to one of his dating episodes where he took calls from listeners, diagnosed their issues, and advised them accordingly. As I cruised down the highway, I sipped my latte and braced myself for an hour and a half of relationship turmoil, despite it not being my usual content of choice.

My interest took a new direction when I heard the humanity in the first caller’s pained tone as she described how her boyfriend of several years had mistreated her. Despite all of it, she longed to make it work, and I let out a sigh as my heart broke for her kindred, hopeful heart.

I was somewhat alarmed at the star’s response as he berated her, calling her desperate, dumb, and delusional. His reaction was insensitive, masked as “just being honest,” and I soon realized he offered no advice outside of, “Have fewer feelings.” Suddenly, the distortion of reality TV touched reality, at least for me, and it was no longer distantly entertaining, but personally harmful.

I quickly turned the podcast off.

Soon after, I stopped following this influencer on Instagram and stopped listening to his podcast because his lack of compassion toward these hurting women normalized a worldview with which I do not align.

During the months I listened to this influencer’s content, the way he spoke tore women down in their time of confusion and turned it into entertainment, and it subtly translated into an attitude of pride for me. When women in my life would share their own woundedness with me, I found myself being critical and harsh, asserting myself above them. With this mindset, I embraced gossip and hardened my heart against those longing for connection.

The podcast moment showed me I did not desire to be treated that way in my own hurt. In fact, if I was vulnerable and spoken to so insensitively, it would only compound my grief. The empathy I felt in that moment sent me on a journey of seeking out people in my life, both in my immediate community and on social media, who had been hurt by my hardened heart.

Sister, is someone in your life setting an example that influences you to treat others in a way you would not want to be treated? These poor examples of love contradict the way scripture calls us to love. In this week’s scripture we hear, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31). This verse is a call for me to love in a way I would want to be loved, despite what I may hear from a worldly influencer. It calls us to a holy awareness of our witness of love, in the way we both receive and give it, and gives us a taste of the Love who was first breathed into us.

In our relationships with others, we can be tempted to allow poor examples to disintegrate the way we live securely as daughters of the Father. Yet we reaffirm our commitment to our greatest Love by choosing to love others as we would hope to be loved—with compassion, kindness, and gentleness. As we love others in obedience to the gospel’s call, we communicate God’s love to all His children.

Reflection Questions

• Who has loved you well? From whom have you learned to love others well? What does that look like in the story of your life?
• Remember a time someone mocked your pain or ridiculed you for a particular response to your situation. Now forgive that person, letting God's love wash over you.