Joy & the Single Mom: By Jennifer Maggioనమూనా

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Have you recently found yourself saying or thinking that? What mother hasn’t been there? The endless demands of changing diapers, working two jobs, and juggling parenthood, while piles of dirty clothes and bills mount in the air can leave us feeling unseen, under-valued, and identity-less. If we aren’t careful, we find ourselves moving from duty to duty, demand to demand, activity to activity, and often lose our joy in the season we are in. Think about it. When the babies are nursing, you can’t wait for them to spoon-feed. When they are toddling, you can’t wait for them to potty-train. When they are playing sports, you can’t wait until they can drive themselves to practice. And through the process, we somehow feel we’ve lost who we are, constantly waiting on the next season – because surely it will be easier! I get it! When I was a young single mom with two kids and two jobs and taking college classes at night, there were times when I quite literally thought I would lose my mind. I was tired. I was mad. I was disappointed. I was hurt. Joy was nowhere in sight. It was time for a self-assessment. I didn’t even know who I was anymore!

Step 1 to restoring your joy as a single mom: Learn where you are anchored!

As moms, we are chauffeurs, counselors, dishwashers, consultants, chefs, fixers, clothes washers, and kissers of skinned knees. All those things are wonderful, but the danger lies when our “doing” becomes our defining. If we aren’t careful, our doing becomes a pursuit of doing more, becoming more, and being more. Many of our days are consumed with putting out one fire after another. Your value doesn’t come from your checklist of activities, the grades your kids are earning, your marital status, the size of your waistline, or the money in your checking account! You are anchored to Christ and find your value in Him alone.

I love what Jesus asked the disciples in Mark 8, “Who do you say I am?” Jesus had just fed 4,000 and healed a blind man. He spent his days busy doing his Father’s business. But Jesus knew it was important his disciples understood who he was and not simply what he was doing. His defining was rooted in the love of the Father.

Our joy is restored when we realize we cannot anchor ourselves to our activities. Our identity comes through Christ, and He is the lifter of our heads and restorer of our joy. As we go deeper into Him, we learn that our stability, strength, and peace are found in the eternal source of all peace. We can experience joy, despite our circumstances. Our situations are never our path to joy. Our doing is never our path to joy. When our hope and identity are anchored to Christ, there is joy there.

Points to Ponder:

• Other than a mom, who am I? Have I spent too much time pursuing value in my doing?