Serve Others

When I’m crawling through the darkest trenches of life, the last thing I want to do is to serve someone else. But when I look back, it’s evident that God has used me to serve others during my own hardships. I see how He orchestrated circumstances that invited me to focus on others instead of myself. He uses us in our weakness so that His power may be displayed: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Less than two months after the assault, the head of women’s ministries and missions at our college group called me. She wanted to meet in her office to talk. I didn’t want to talk to anyone during that time. Silently suffering can do that to you—it can isolate you when you need people the most.

After putting it off for a short time, I finally scheduled a meeting. We made small talk for a couple of minutes, and then she said, “Nicole, I want you to lead the missions trip to Nepal next summer.”

I immediately burst into tears and said, “Absolutely not.” Instead of feeling excited for the opportunity, feelings of failure and a running list of painful memories flooded my mind. I told her the details of my shattered circumstances, the doubt I was feeling, and the depression that was slowly taking over my soul. Her response forever changed me.

“I’m so sorry you’re walking through this, Nicole, but God wants you to lead this team. You are broken and have nothing to offer, so I know God will step in and work in huge ways. Let Him be your strength and wisdom. Let Him heal you and lead you so you can be the best leader.”

Her compassion and honest leading showed me that meeting people where they are, in their brokenness, was how I wanted to lead and serve going forward. God meets us right where we are and receives us just as we are—and He chose a willing woman to display this hope to me in my desperate hour.

This was the moment when God began redeeming and mending my unraveled life. Having someone believe in me despite my weaknesses and all I’d been through changed my perspective on life, second chances, and God’s redeeming and loving power in our lives. Experiences like that make me want to be more selfless.

In what painful places in your life have you been shown compassion and understanding? How does Christ respond to your brokenness and fear?