It’s Never Too Late: Make The Next Act Of Your Life The Best Act Of Your Lifeనమూనా

It’s Never Too Late to Forgive

Early in my career in New York I started hearing strange murmurs about Howard Stern, the number-one shock jock on the radio. I had never met him or listened to his program, but I had heard that he mentioned me often—and with quite a bit of vitriol. I certainly wasn’t his enemy, but apparently early on he had decided to be mine. I accepted it as an unfortunate part of reaching a certain level of fame. 

One morning I was in the hair and makeup chair when I glanced up at a monitor to see Howard entering the studio one floor below. He was joining NBC’s America’s Got Talent and I very clearly heard the Lord say, “Go downstairs and say hello to him. Wish him well.” I had learned to listen when God speaks to me, so I said internally, Okay, Lord, and got up to leave. 

I went directly over to Howard. Because Howard is six feet six, he was completely oblivious to my five feet five presence beneath him. “Howard? Howard?” I said looking directly up at him.

Finally, he looked down as I put my hand out to him and said, “Hi, Howard, I’m Kathie Lee. I think it’s time we said hello, don’t you?” He was visually stunned and fumbled for a response. I didn’t wait for one. “I just want to wish you all the best on the new show.”

I walked away and returned to the makeup room. I was totally at peace. Hoda and I did our show and then I flew to California. When I landed and turned my phone back on to retrieve messages, there was a “No ID” voicemail. It was from Howard Stern. He basically said that he couldn’t believe how kind I had been to him, that he was a jerk, and he needed to talk to me.

A few hours later at dinner the same blocked call came up and I excused myself to answer the phone. “Kathie, I can’t believe you were so nice to me. I’m so f—ed up, but I’ve been in therapy and I’ve been trying to get my sh*t together and say I’m so sorry. I’ve been a f—ing a-hole to you, and you don’t deserve it, and I’m so sorry. And I need to ask you to forgive me.” 

My heart felt so tender toward him I thought it would break. I said, “Howard, I’m so happy for you. The fact that you’re asking for forgiveness from people that you’ve hurt is huge and so important. But you need to know that I forgave you years ago, and I’ve been praying for you every day since.”

“You have?” he said.

“Yes,” I said. “God loves you and I know everything you said or did comes from a place of deep hurt and woundedness. It’s okay, Howard. I’ll keep praying that God continues to heal you.”

Years later, the day I left TODAY, I came home to the biggest bouquet of flowers I have ever received—from Howard and Beth Stern, wishing me a wonderful new chapter in my life. 

Unkindnesses come in all shapes and sizes, from those we love and even people we’ve never met. But life is too short to carry a grudge. Don’t waste your time or your energy. Instead, drop the weight and forgive. The benefit often goes way beyond yourself. Don’t let it be too late.

Respond

What effect does unforgiveness have on a person? 

Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?

What can you do today to lift the weight of unforgiveness from your life?