Love Junkies: Break The Toxic Relationship Cycleనమూనా

Apart from your commitment to Christ, the investment of your heart into a romantic relationship is one of the most important commitments you’ll ever make in life. Why then, do so many women enter without the consent and approval of those who know them best? Why do they risk the most valuable asset they own to the limited insight of their emotions and intellect? Because when it comes to romance we all have blind spots—areas of vulnerability that jeopardize our judgment.  

That’s why it’s important to guard your heart in the beginning of a relationship. Before you get your emotions involved, take enough time to evaluate his character. Once chemistry takes over, your discernment is compromised. When your emotions are detached, however, it’s easier to notice areas of concern and potential char­acter flaws. 

Counsel and accountability can also help protect you from making unwise choices in relationships because others can see red flags you may have overlooked.  When you’re driving a vehicle you have to look over your shoulder before switching lanes. Without checking your rearview mirror you may crash and burn. The same is true in relationships.

Rushing into romance is risky, but a wise woman is cautious in relationships so do your homework. Follow him on social media. Watch, observe, and trust your instincts. In your conversations ask lots of questions. Not just for conversation. Not to create an emotional connection. That comes later. Right now you’re asking intentional questions for the purpose of evaluation. If his answers are vague and full of non-disclosure, stay away. Otherwise, store the information. 

Don’t be so gullible that you believe everything he says. Wait to see if his words agree with his actions. Ask mutual friends you respect about him. You may feel like you’re snooping, but you’re not. Snooping is something you do when you have no reason other than sheer curiosity. You’re taking an honest look at relationship suitability. Notice who he hangs out with. Ask to meet his friends. After all, a man is best known by the company he keeps. 

Your heart is the most valuable asset you own, so don’t give it away just because the chemistry feels good. Character is more important than chemistry. Chemistry is short term, but character provides longevity. Play it safe and protect your heart. Delay emotion­al involvement until you have sufficient time to evaluate whether or not his character is worthy of your love. Then you’ll be able to build your relationship on a solid foundation of trust and commitment.  

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