Finding God's Life For My Willமாதிரி

I’ll never forget the day I stopped asking God to use me. I did. I quit cold turkey. It was about eight years ago and I was in Wisconsin for Lifest, one of the first summer festivals our band played. We were backstage, huddled in our van trying to escape the early afternoon sun, praying before our set. I was cheating and my eyes were open a little, as I watched the other more notable artists going back and forth from their buses to the catering tent. I found it hard to concentrate as I wondered what it would be like to be at their level. What would it be like to have a ministry like theirs? Imagine influence like that! I tried to pray harder. I shut my eyes and doubled down, “Use us, God! Oh Father, use our set immensely for Your glory!” Of course, God saw right through my noble pleas. I could almost feel a physical tap on my shoulder as I heard the Spirit whisper, “But what if I want to use the other bands?” Ouch. That hurt. I knew exactly where this was going. God was showing me the prayer behind my prayer.

Has that ever happened to you? Even though I was ostensibly asking Him to use my band, what I was really asking was for Him to use me more than the other bands. It wasn’t a prayer of offering myself to His service. It was a prayer of asking that my service ascribe worth to me. I might have been saying, “Use us for your glory!” But what I was really meant was, “Use us for our glory.” It was a subtle but subversive distinction. 

When I first started playing music with my band, I believe most of my motives were pure. For years, we prayed the same prayer before every show: “God, please use our band. What could be better than doing what we love in a way that’s useful to You?” We wanted to be a light to the world and help set the captives free. Over time, though, my heart subconsciously shifted. Even though I was still praying the same words, “God, use our band,” in my heart I was really praying, “God, use our band more than the other bands.” As crazy as it sounds, it was no longer enough to be used by God. I needed to be used more than everyone else. Ironically, I’ve often found that it’s my good works that keep me from clinging to Christ, not my bad ones.

That hot July day, God quietly challenged my prayers, helping me see how comparison had dug its ugly claws into me. He simply suggested, “What if I want to use the other bands?” But this question was enough to cause me to change course. God gave me an entirely new prayer to pray and I’ve never prayed the same way since. Now, instead of asking to be used, I simply ask God to move. I no longer pray, “God use me.” I pray, “God use anyone.” Whether He uses me, my band, a volunteer, or another artist, it doesn’t change my potential for joy. With this prayer, I’m celebrating how God is moving, whether I’m in the picture or not. I find that the more I celebrate others, the more joyful I become. Let me say it this way: Celebration keeps me from comparison and jealousy. When I focus my energies on lauding others, and not on outdoing them, ten times out of ten I get more joy, not less.

 We hope this plan encouraged you.  Learn more about Finding God's Life For My Will  by Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North