Soul Care: Healing From Childhood TraumaMfano

Forgiveness: Getting Unstuck

Childhood trauma causes deep and lasting emotional pain. The depth of pain keeps you stuck and serves as a barrier to forgiveness. Forgiveness requires us to confront and process this pain, which can be a challenging and uncomfortable experience.

Confrontation involves facing the wounds inflicted by past experiences, acknowledging the emotions they evoke, and embracing vulnerability. Your new identity in Christ provides the strength to face the past. Paul encourages us to stop regarding anyone from a human standpoint. Christ died so that we all could be pulled out of the quicksand of our past and have a new life found in Christ.

Forgiveness is always possible because it is a choice. I believe we confuse forgiveness and reconciliation. Reconciliation is a process, sometimes defined as making one view or belief compatible with another. Reconciliation, a fruit of forgiveness, is not always possible due to continued violations and boundary issues, even in adulthood. Repeated violations build a trauma wall that imprisons and oppresses.

Trauma can also erode trust in relationships, and trustworthy behavior is necessary to establish safety in relationships and further move into possible reconciliation. If a person decides not to model safety, you must accept true reconciliation is not possible. This will release you from the "stuck place," hoping things will be different. What moves you from a stuck place is hope in Christ Jesus. He will never fail you.

Lie: I can't let go of what happened to me.

Truth: I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.] (Philippians 4:13 AMP).

Strategy: (1) Recognize if you are still stuck in unforgiveness. (2) Forgive immediately according to the scripture, Ephesians 4:32. (3) Acknowledge negative feelings and accept them is a part of the process of healing by the power of the Holy Spirit. (4) Daily submit and resist negative emotions or thoughts that arise (James 4:7). (5) Rest in knowing healing, restoration, and reconciliation is possible through Jesus Christ (Jer. 30:17).