Conversations With God: After Miscarriage & Pregnancy LossMfano

Day III: The Ups & Downs

Each day looked different from the days following my loss. I sometimes felt like I was moving on, finding peace and even a sense of joy. Then, something would happen that would trigger feelings of remorse, pain, and sorrow. It would be small things that would trigger the pain that I wasn't prepared for or expected.

One day, my then-partner and I went to a parade in the city. I was excited to leave the house, see some fun balloon characters and floats, and get a sweet caramel apple. As we watched the floats go by, a couple was in front of me with a newborn. The mother was very attentive to the baby; you could tell they were new parents. I immediately started thinking about Solomon.

My mood completely shifted, and I wanted to go home.

During this time of healing, you will find yourself shifting emotions unexpectedly. That's okay. It's normal, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I was nervous about going out because I didn't know when I would unexpectedly have an episode. But; I knew it wasn't realistic never to go anywhere. So, I started to ensure I had moments to release. What do I mean? Each morning, I would talk to God, get out all I felt, and cry as long as needed. Then, I would get up and start my day. I also made a plan for specific phrases or scriptures I would keep in mind to get me through if something did trigger me.

What can you do to allow yourself time to release? Are you aware of potential triggers? What plan can you make to get you through those moments?