The Burden of Better: Living a Comparison-Free LifeMfano

Comparison isn’t a big deal, we reason. “It’s necessary for my self-improvement,” we rationalize. My comparison doesn’t actually hurt anyone. Does it?

I’m afraid the Bible disagrees. It tells us not to size up other people (James 2:1). The apostle Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10 that comparing ourselves is foolish. When we become winners at the comparison game—we puff up with pride. But pride hurts our relationships by causing both division and strife (Prov. 13:10; 1 Cor. 4:6–7). When we become losers in the comparison game—we fill with envy, doubt, jealousy, and even lust. That’s not healthy for anyone, either.

I’m guilty too, so please don’t hear any condemnation from me. The anthem of “do better and be like her” beats in my head too often. I want to lift you up, not tear you down. But I also want us to clearly see what happens when we wear that burden of better.

I write about life in the land of comparison because I spent so much time there that they forced me to register my car. I didn’t understand grace or what it could be like to live comparison-free. But I’m learning to surrender my proclivity to chase better—and to ask God to help me learn to rest in him.

Like an Instagram filter, a greater understanding of God’s grace tints how we view the world and our place. That filter of grace helps us see every event, every struggle, and every triumph differently. Likewise, the filter of gratitude can help us actually change the way our brains are wired, wiping off those stains that comparison left so that we spend less time comparing and more time savoring the days that we have.

Comparison isn’t something you simply decide to get over. It’s not a life stage you grow out of (ask some of my podcast listeners who qualify for senior discounts at department stores), nor is it a trivial habit you can choose to write off as “no big deal.” Every minute you spend comparing is time stolen from your pursuit of God’s plans for you.