Level Up! : Influencing Faith Driven FriendshipsMfano

Nothing to Lose

I've had a lot of friendships crash and burn in my life.There were girls whom I worked so hard to earn a friendship with ghost me quietly, while others chose to dismiss me publicly. I know this isn't unique to my experience alone. I know many other women, all with great intentions, who have suffered hurt and disappointment from people they cherished. Any form of breakup is devastating, but that's the risky mess of relationships. Some survive, some thrive and some die. But I'm learning that this isn't the point. The point of investing into relationships isn't to improve our self-worth, protect our feelings or to cope with insecurities. The point of our relationships is God's love. Though outcomes and fall-outs may never get restored, if we can look back and declare that we shared God's love, regardless of the chaos and in spite of the hurt- if we can stand in confidence that we extended grace, that we showed mercy, that we gave forgiveness and that we reached out with sincere hearts, then we can confidently release all hurt with kindness. 

The Apostle Paul endured his own share of friendship disturbances in a very heated disagreement he had with Barnabus. The Bible says it was a "sharp argument" - Have you ever had one of those? In this season of their relationship, they just couldn't come to terms. Scripture continues to share that the two men both decided to walk away from their friendship, yet even in their breakup, they parted in love and continued on in their unified mission to spread the Gospel, though they did so in separate directions (Acts 15: 36-41).

This breakup story encourages me so much, because we know not every relationship is meant to be life long. Some friendships are seasonal and that's ok. Some people aren't in God's plan to travel life long journeys with us, but this doesn't have to discount the person's value or ours. Even in unloving disputes or hurtful fall outs, we can still choose to be faithful friends. It's been a hard lesson for me personally, but God's grace has taught me that I wasn't called to be loved by everyone. No, I was called to be loving to everyone. The same is true for you! Not every one will understand you or be able to discern your heart or appreciate your efforts- not everyone appreciated Jesus' heart, either; but He still gave it and He has equipped you to extend yours, as well. Disagreements don't have to cancel out our mission and we don't have to build walls to shut people out because of fear. We can trust in God's love and extend His love to others as we pursue His heart for us. This is the changing power of the Gospel. It transforms our intentions from being self-focused and into becoming soul-focused. 

The world tells us that  our relationships should make us feel good about ourselves and that if people love us, they will treat us the way we deserve to be treated, but scriptures teach us that a true friend loves at all times. All Times! This means even when we are not being loved in the ways we feel that we deserve, we can still be a loving friend through the power and grace of Christ Jesus! No longer are we considering how best we can protect our feelings; instead, our mission to be a light and win souls for the Gospel of Jesus Christ surges a confidence in us to love those who've hurt us and to pray for those who may have deserted us. We have nothing to fear and nothing to lose, because it all belongs to the Lord, anyway. 

This life is not our own and since we've traded in our lives for the life of Christ through Salvation, how we treat people has absolutely nothing to do with how they have treated us. If we are in Christ, we have been purchased with the precious blood from the cross. We don’t have the freedom to withhold His love from those He loves. Since He first loved us, then we must love others so that we can continue in our calling to be the hands and feet of Jesus!

In what ways have you shown the love of Christ in the midst of conflict within your friendships ?  I'm cheering you on to love every friend (past, present and future) with the undeserved love of Jesus! You've got this!