How To Adopt Without Ruining Your FamilySmakprov
Tip #8 - Recognize You Cannot Fix It
The web is filled with testimonies from precious people of how adoption HAS INDEED RUINED THEIR FAMILIES. There are homes designated for kids who can no longer live within their forever families—for the good of all. I am sorry. Some things you cannot fix.
Still, it’s worth the risk! Absolutely, enter educated with both eyes open, armed with the fullest knowledge accessible of what lies ahead. Whenever possible, strive to possess a clear sense. If God is doing the leading– by all means, DO IT!!
But remember…
You and I sign up to do hard things because we want to be a part of the gritty work of Kingdom Building. We say “Yes” when others are too busy or distracted to even ponder the possibility. We exhaust every scenario tirelessly to help one child. We’ve given up going to the gym. There is no ME time! Some of us quit our jobs to devote more time to the endeavor.
But there will be times when nothing we do or give is enough—because He never intended us to do the saving or the rescuing. You are exhausted. And you’re not sure what you could and should do differently.
When you need something to which to cling—the promise that it’s going to all be ok– that there will be a fairytale ending this side of heaven–I’m sorry. I can’t give it to you. What I can offer is Paul’s own plea: “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take away the thorn from me. But he said, ‘My grace is sufficient…’”
Even Jesus, Himself, pleads to the Father. “If there is any other way, Father– take this cup from me…” But the answer is, “No– I’m sorry. It is enough that I will be with you.”
For my own family and future, I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. And I don’t understand why certain things have to be a certain way. But I know this: His promises are true.
He will be with you through the dark times.
His grace is sufficient when it does not turn out like we thought it would.
We can’t make right all the wrongs in the world that have taken refuge under our roof.
Remember this one thing we can rely:
His grace is enough. For somehow, His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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If you’re thinking about adoption, one of the greatest fears is not knowing how it will impact your family. For those already participating, learning to navigate the dynamics adoption adds without your family imploding remains on the mental front burner. Having two biological and six adopted children, I understand. You can navigate adoption without ruining your family. The endeavor can be priceless. Here are my top ten strategies for success.
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