Find The Faith To Tackle Life's Biggest ChallengesSmakprov

Blindsided

I went to see Leah in a dance recital. When I got there, Leah wasn’t feeling good. She had a fever and wouldn’t eat. She could barely lift her arms as I carried her to the car. We ended up at the hospital where the doctors performed what seemed like endless tests. This was when we first heard of the possibility of cancer. 

I met with the doctor and he told me it was definitely cancer. And just like that, all the air got sucked out of me. When I saw my family in the waiting room, all I could say was “cancer” and collapse. The next day Leah’s mom and I learned that my daughter had stage 4 neuroblastoma, and her chances of survival were around 50 percent.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I needed to pray. And I needed to pray hard.I found the chapel in the hospital and started bawling and calling out to God, “Why, God? Why? Please heal her. Please! Are you here with me God?” As the doors of the chapel began to rattle God had my attention, and I knew God was letting me know He was there. I prayed and fasted for Leah to be healed. 

When all the tests were in, my prayers for instant healing had failed. I was shattered, but I knew Leah needed my strength, and I was going to need God’s strength. Even though she didn’t understand what cancer was, I told her that she was going to have to fight a big fight to get well. She had seen me do that with my injuries, so she understood that, and that was enough.

My spot in the NFL seemed to be in the way of me being there for Leah. I also realized that the only way we could afford this fight was because of the insurance I had through the NFL. I knew I was lucky to have that advantage. I wondered, How do people do this? I mean, the ones without my advantages?I realized the miracles that had happened to me along the way, that allowed me to have football, weren’t even about me. Maybe God provided those miracles for Leah. 

When Leah started her treatment, I had to adjust my thinking. I felt guilty if I laughed or had fun. A coach once told me that when you stop having fun, you’ve already lost the game. I made a decision that I wasn’t going to let cancer steal our joy. This became a challenge because I was scared, especially when I saw Leah throwing up and feeling miserable. I told Asha about it and she prayed with me. She asked God to help me find peace and understanding so I could be my best self for Leah. Then she prayed that I wouldn’t stop laughing and that Leah would be able to keep laughing too. God answered that prayer with a big “Yes!”

Respond

How do you handle setbacks? How do setbacks impact your attitude toward life?

How can others pray for you? 

How can you adjust your thinking to face difficult circumstances with joy?