God Is Pretty Good at Second ChancesUzorak

Day 1: Motherless: Triumph Over Trauma:
Welcome to the God Is Pretty Good at Second Chances Plan! I’m Raquel Copeland, and over the course of this plan, I hope to share my story to equip and empower you in your own journey and walk with God. Today, I want to share a bit about the environment I grew up in.

Life without a mother was tough. It meant I had no one to call Mommy, Mom, or Mama. I didn’t have a mother to share my first menstruation with or to tell about my first crush. She wasn’t there for mommy and daughter time. After all, I am the only girl. I didn’t have her at my eighth-grade graduation, high school graduation, or even college graduation. I didn’t have a mother to celebrate my milestone birthdays. I didn’t have her to make wedding plans or to watch the joy in her face as she held her grandchildren.

I have carried this great sadness all of my life. Along with this sadness were secret anger and envy. Why was I angry, you ask? Well, I felt that God robbed me of the most precious thing a girl could have . . . her mother. Why was I envious of others? You’ve probably figured that out already. My cousins, friends, neighborhood kids . . . everyone had their mommy except me. Regardless of the relationship between them and their mothers, the fact of the matter is that they had their mothers—someone to call Mom.

The void of a mother may come from the death of a mother, adoption, or broken relationships due to addictions or abuse. The point is not the how but that the void exists, which can be detrimental, especially if not recognized. At least, it was for me for most of my life. I was well into my forties before I understood the root of my behaviors. I spent many years cutting down branch after branch but never getting to the root.

There was a void of a mother; however, there was never a void of love.

Not knowing this then, I now believe the foundation of God’s love for me allowed me to maintain a drive to overcome and not allow how I felt to overtake me. I had a choice—many choices as a child and later as an adult. I had a choice to be consumed by the sadness and anger of being a motherless child, which was my reality and my truth. I also had a choice to allow God to be what I heard but never understood: a mother to the motherless. I chose the latter; this was my first time experiencing God as a God of second chances.

How did God show up in my life as “a mother to the motherless” (Isaiah 66:12-13)? God took one mother and gave me ten mother figures. Talk about a ten-fold return!!! There was a void of a mother; however, there was never a void of love. My grandmothers and aunts loved me as their own daughter and gave me the nurturing, protection, and guidance that I needed to become the woman I am today.

I will never know what it’s like to have a mother journey with me in life. I will never know what it feels like to experience the death of a mother as an adult and then miss the times I have had with her. I don’t know what it feels like to miss conversing with my mother or feeling her touch. What I do know is that God gave me a second chance. And that second chance is what I choose to embrace. In this life, tragedy will happen, and we have a choice on what we will embrace. Embrace the sadness and hurt, or embrace the redeeming God who will be what you need at every moment in your life. Sometimes, we can’t get past a thing because to hold on to it is unconscious comfort and protection. In God’s truth, that trauma can work out for your good if you let it. If you can see past the sting and allow yourself to step out of your reality, God can then step in and offer you that second chance. I am still working through the trauma and probably will until I take my last breath. However, I choose triumph. Today, what will you choose?

Reflect on a life event that caused a void. Are there specific situations that intensify the void? How has God filled that void? If the void persists and negatively affects your daily life, consulting with a therapist or counselor may be beneficial.