The Power of a Praying Bonus MomUzorak

Day 3: Praying for Their Mother

Understanding the Challenge:

I've never encountered anyone who entered into marriage with the intention of their union ending in divorce. That's why I encourage you to cultivate a mindset of extending grace to the mother of your (bonus) children.

In the early stages of my journey as a bonus mother, I experienced hurt when my efforts to foster effective co-parenting between my husband and my bonus children's mother were dismissed. I even resorted to searching online for advice on how to navigate such challenges as a Christian.

To my surprise, I stumbled upon an article outlining 10 things a bonus mom can do. Can you guess what the first item on the list was? It was to pray.

Initially, I may have rolled my eyes, but I was swiftly convicted.

Here's a truth that I invite you to ponder as you endeavor to extend more grace: The biological mother shared an entire history with your husband before you entered the picture. The man you married may not be the same person she was married to or in a relationship with, making it nearly impossible for her to see him from your perspective.

While grace, mercy, and forgiveness are values fundamental to Christianity, we must acknowledge that everyone is on a unique journey. It's important to recognize that the mother of your bonus kids may be working through the following challenges: 1) unforgiveness and resentment, 2) struggles with acceptance, and 3) managing emotions tied to shared custody arrangements.

Let’s unpack each of these areas:

1) Past hurts and unresolved conflicts may contribute to feelings of unforgiveness and resentment towards your husband or the co-parenting situation. These negative emotions can hinder the establishment of a healthy co-parenting dynamic and perpetuate ongoing tension and conflict.

2) Adjusting to the realities of co-parenting post-divorce can be difficult. The mother may struggle with accepting the end of her relationship with your husband and may harbor feelings of bitterness or disappointment, which can interfere with efforts to co-parent effectively.

3) Your husband's ex-partner may struggle with relinquishing control over parenting decisions and arrangements, leading to power struggles and conflicts with your husband. She may resist collaborative co-parenting efforts and insist on maintaining a sense of control over the children's lives.

This is why you must respond in prayer.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, I lift up the mother of my bonus kids to you. Grant her healing and a sound mind as she stands up against the enemy’s schemes of creating control issues and unforgiveness. Give her strength, peace, and an open heart as she and my husband work together to establish a healthy co-parenting dynamic for the children. May our interactions be filled with grace and understanding. Help me to extend love and compassion, recognizing the importance of a united front as we raise emotionally healthy Kingdom children. Grant her healing and restoration in areas where she carries pain or resentment. May your grace and peace overflow in her life. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

Your Action Step:

The Grace Extension: Take a moment to intentionally pray for the mother of your bonus children. Set aside time each day this week to lift her up in prayer, asking for God's guidance, peace, and healing in her life. Consider initiating an act of reconciliation towards the mother of your bonus children. This could include sending a heartfelt message expressing appreciation for her role as a mother or acknowledging her efforts in co-parenting.

See you on Day Four.