One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansUzorak

Do the Right Thing

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:6,10)

I love this statement: “The best person does the right thing first.” Much of the destructive tit-for-tat fighting in marriages is the result of a standoff between the husband and wife. Both are doing the wrong thing—and justifying it because of the wrong their spouse is doing.

In most cases, each party believes his or her position to be the right and noble position. With jaw set and mind made up, each person is waiting for the other to do the right thing and change. The problem is both spouses have this same attitude. Thus, the proverbial “irresistible force” meets the “immovable object” and another marriage bites the dust.

That premise brings to mind a song from my childhood sung by Roger Miller, titled “Husbands and Wives”:

Two broken hearts, lonely, looking like houses where nobody lives,

Two people each having so much pride inside neither side forgives.

The angry words spoken in haste, such a waste of two lives,

It’s my belief pride is the chief cause in the decline
of a number of husbands and wives.

Those words tell a story that is sadly true and common. Pride destroys marriages. Let me repeat my opening statement: “The best person does the right thing first.” Humility is the mark of the best person. Rather than justifying wrongdoing and responding to immaturity with immaturity—humility responds with a different spirit and a higher standard.

In all my years of marriage counseling, I have seen countless scenarios where two prideful and stubborn people were at a standoff, each waiting for the other person to flinch. Many of these situations didn’t end well. My favorite stories, however, are those where a humble person stepped forward and was willing to be the redeemer of the tough situation. While even those scenarios don’t turn out well 100 percent of the time, the percentage is certainly very high.

One person doing the right thing can turn a situation around.

When you choose to do the right thing, God can use your humility and godly character as a conduit to infuse His love and power into your marriage!

Talk It Out | Is there an issue of pride that is keeping distance between you? Talk about what it is and how you can take the first steps toward closing the gap by having a humble attitude toward each other.

Walk It Out | Don’t leave the house this week without giving each other a sincere hug and kiss every morning this week. Pray a blessing over each other’s day.