The Envy Block

Sitting in the dark on the porch of my remote rainforest home, I was crying and praying. I had just spent the last few hours with people who seemed so full of purpose, commitment, and focus, as opposed to me just trying to raise my kids to the best of my ability and get through one week to the next.

I realized that what I felt towards them was envy! Looking up at the stars, I cried to God with all my heart, "Lord, please forgive me for being envious. Please teach me how not to be this way.”

There is an almost invisible ledge that takes one from feeling admiration to experiencing envy, and that’s the ledge I slipped off of. I couldn’t feel joy for them and rejoice with them in their blessings because all I could think of was why I didn’t have those things.

Envy is one of the themes in the story of the prodigal son who returns home repentant after his wild way of life. To his surprise, his ecstatic father threw him a huge party. The older brother had stayed home while the younger was off on his misadventures. Big brother was angry and heartbroken, envious that their father celebrated the prodigal son this way.

The dad's response to his older son explains this truth about life: because their stories were different, so were their blessings. Celebrating the prodigal son's return was a part of his story. But, on the other hand, everything the father owned belonged to the older son.

"And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’ "(Luke 15:31-32)

How difficult it is not to be envious, especially if envy rears its head when we least expect it! We can defeat envy by remembering that our paths and blessings are different. By keeping our eyes focused on God's will for us individually, we remove the block of envy and clear the way for the experience of more joy in our lives.

The antidote for envy is gratitude. When we are mindful of all the talents and blessings the Father has given us, His joy in us is unhindered.

Prayer:

Lord, You knew me in my mother's womb. You created me with a purpose. You know the plans You have for me. Forgive me for being distracted by others' possessions and successes. Help me to fix my eyes on You and to walk in what Your good and perfect will is for me. I don't want to be envious and block the joy that You have freely given me. Thank You for the talents and blessings You have already given me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.