Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Heart After DivorceUzorak

Grief

I know what it’s like to be abandoned and wonder if life could ever feel good again. If I could ever feel good about myself again. If I would ever believe I’m enough. If I would even survive.

These are all valid feelings and questions everyone deals with when facing divorce regardless of how many years that marriage existed or what circumstances destroyed it. 

I take comfort in knowing that David in the Bible understood this type of grief. Although he wasn’t enduring the exact scenario of separation and divorce, his emotions and pleas to God were the same as someone who is. 

He wrote, “I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies” (Ps. 6:6–7). Sound familiar? It sure does to me. 

Until this situation happened in my life, I didn’t even know the eyes could produce as many tears as I cried for months and months on end. 

I discovered what it meant to be emotionally unstable and to live every minute in an on-your-knees desperation for any type of relief from the hurt. 

I walked out how David was feeling for many, many months—worn out from weeping, lying on pillows wet with tears, waking with bloodshot eyes, and just flat spent. You see, divorce brings a suffocating grief that all too often goes unacknowledged by others. 

Grief is a painful season to endure, but it is necessary for the healing process to play out. I once read a quote from English poet and hymnodist William Cowper who said, “Grief is itself a medicine.” It cleanses our souls from anguish and is the process God can use to help us arrive at a place of healing and wholeness.

The Psalms are filled with hope and reassurance for every stage of life. God will not only hold you close but, in time, He will also rescue you from your grief and heal your heart. 

This is His promise to you. He is a God who heals hearts, minds, bodies, and lives. Sometimes immediately and sometimes over time through a process of growth and learning. 

It’s not a question of if He will heal you and bandage your wounds but when. Rest assured, better days are coming. Put your hope in Jesus and let it stay there. 

As Psalm 39:7 says, “So, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” 

Healing Step:

You can’t write a new chapter of life until you stop rereading the last one. Consider whether you’re holding on to any thoughts, feelings, or dreams that are keeping you from accepting the reality of your situation and moving on. In your journal, write down all the thoughts or feelings you’re having a hard time releasing.