Grieving With Hope Uzorak

When Healing Comes

We will grieve and grow daily. That’s what grief does. Some days, we sit in it and might even feel like it’s smothering us. Other days, the grief slightly lifts us as we peacefully remember our loss. 

Sometimes, Jesus will heal us completely while we reside on earth. Other times, true healing only comes when we’re finally in the presence of Jesus after we’ve joined Him in heaven. Regardless of when our complete healing comes, we can start to heal in the here and now. But how much? As mentioned on day 2, processing our pain brings about progress. The depth and speed of our healing truly depends on how well we process our pain as we trust God and allow His Spirit to help us. 

So, how do you know when you’ve healed? Here are a few indications that healing has begun to occur in your life.

A sign that you’re healing is that the memory of the loss no longer destroys your day. You see something that reminds you of loss and it doesn’t cause intense pain. What once ruined your entire day may only affect you for a few hours or minutes. In some situations, when the loss was more extreme, the pain you feel now is a dull ache and not a stabbing sensation. In others, it might even become factual information to you and not conjure an emotional response. In short, your recovery time from the reminder has shortened.

Another sign that you’re healing is when you can begin to see what God has done in and through you because of this loss. This doesn’t mean that you would want to endure this again or that you wouldn’t want the person alive again, it just means that you see how God has begun to work out all things for His good. Even in the wretched, awful, life-sucking pain you’ve endured, you can see how you’re becoming a better version of yourself. 

One final sign that shows that you’re healing is when your why questions become how questions. Instead of asking, “Why did you let this happen?” to God, you’ll begin to ask, “How are you going to use this?” The mental and spiritual shift occurs when we recognize the comfort He’s given us can and should be used to comfort another. 

One of the most challenging things about grief is that you’ll think you’ve made significant progress in your healing, but then are reminded of the dream that didn’t happen or the loved one you no longer see. This generates more pain because you feel like you’re worse than you were before. You’re not. What this means is that your healing journey halted for a minute. You may have even taken a few steps back. When this happens, stop and grieve...again. And then allow yourself to look back and see the progress you’ve made. Every time you accept the loss and feel it, you’re headed toward healing.