Single TodayShembull

Confront Yesterday

Do you ever struggle to be present today because you can’t stop replaying the past? Do you ever replay events that are already over? Or ruminate on conversations that already happened? Or overthink decisions you already made?

Every human struggles with this at some level, but the temptation is even stronger when you are single. Single people have many opportunities to overthink situations, second-guess decisions, and feel shame about past mistakes.

Paul (who was single, by the way) gives us another option. “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14).

If anyone had a reason to let the past hold them back, it was Paul. He made plenty of mistakes, hurt plenty of people, and had plenty of reasons to hold onto grudges. And yet, he consciously decided to let go and forget the past.

Paul let go of yesterday to embrace being present today!

If you want to do the same, you will have to get really good at offering and receiving forgiveness. We live in a broken world. People will do things that hurt you, and you will return the favor. That is unavoidable. However, we can decide whether we will hold onto the bitterness and grudges that come with the pain.

Few things keep us stuck in the past like unforgiveness. Holding onto resentment and grudges from yesterday steals our joy today.

In his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul wrote, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Forgiving others sounds impossible until we remind ourselves that Christ forgave us first. The truth is, we have all made a ton of mistakes. But in his love, Jesus laid down his life so we could be forgiven. Take a moment and think about how amazing that truth is. From that place of gratitude, see if you can extend the same forgiveness to that person from your past.

Today is a new day. Whether you are single, dating, engaged, or married, God has a plan and purpose for your life right now. All the energy you expend holding onto bitterness from yesterday is a missed opportunity for experiencing life to the fullest today.

Question to Consider

Who is one person you need to forgive? Why do you think it is so difficult to forgive them? How would today be different if you forgave them?

Exercise

Sit down with a journal, and write out everything you can remember about what that person did to you and why you are so angry with them. You don’t have to share what you wrote with anyone, but it can be therapeutic to write it out.