Parenting: The 14 Gospel PrinciplesShembull

Authority

That battle you have over the peas you want your daughter to eat is not about diet. Your three-year-old daughter is not saying to you, 'I have studied my dietary needs, and it is not necessary that peas be included in a three-year-old’s diet.'

No, this skirmish over something that is little in the scheme of things is not little at all because it is not about peas; it’s about authority. Your daughter is saying to you, 'No one but me will decide what I put in my mouth, thank you.' Your daughter is not just resisting peas; she is fighting against the exercise of authority. She is fighting being told what to do. She is buying into the destructive delusion of self-rule.

The fights over when to go to bed, what to wear, what to watch on television, or the condition of the child’s room are also not first about those issues; they are about this fundamental battle of the heart—who will decide how I will live?

—Paul David Tripp