Embracing Who God Created You To BeShembull

Stop Comparing Yourself

One of the killers of self-worth is comparison – as soon as we start looking at other people in this way, we will start to think of ourselves more negatively. I think this is why there are so many of us wearing masks and pretending within the church. We compare ourselves to those we sit next to and try to ensure we look at least as good as them. But, by doing this, we are acting like the Pharisees, caring more about outward appearances than our heart attitudes. (Matthew 23 shows us what Jesus thought about that!)

I used to arrive at church and immediately feel condemned. But God began talking to me about the fact that I was comparing myself – and all of my week’s baggage, including the struggles and sins – to an outer snapshot of another’s life. I was making a lot of unhelpful assumptions as I did that, as sometimes I didn’t even talk to the other person! It was so good to understand that the direct comparison didn’t work – and that I didn’t even need to be comparing myself anyway!

It may be that you have a tendency towards comparison that started at an early age, because your parents always compared you to a sibling or a friend’s child. That may well have taught you that love, and acceptance is built on performance. While, sadly, it can sometimes be so in our earthly relationships, the good news is that it never is with God!

The older son in the prodigal son’s story compared himself to his brother – and became jealous. He knew that he had been working hard all the time that his brother was squandering his inheritance, and so he was furious when his dad ran out to embrace the prodigal on his return – and threw a huge party for him. But that speaks to me of God’s utter acceptance and love for us all. Whether we are faithfully serving, or foolishly squandering the opportunities God puts in front of us, He always welcomes us into His presence – openly embracing us when we start walking towards Him.

Reflect: Do you recognize that you have a tendency to compare yourself to others – including those in church? Ask God to help you remember that He always accepts and loves you – and learn to live in the security that gives you.