God’s Advice For Wives Shembull

Cultivate Honor in Your Home 

Your home can be a wonderful laboratory in which to cultivate honor. The tone we set in our homes when we honor our husbands can inspire our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it feels even better to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor away, we get it back.

Deep inside, we’re all more vulnerable when honor is lacking, and we know it. When honor is gone, so is our shield against danger and shame. We all desire to be known, to be accepted by others. Sometimes we try to fulfill those longings by striving for fame or popularity. But there really is no substitute for honor.

Cultivating a home where honor is present and faith can flourish is a key way to respect your husband. This really hit home for me when David said that our kids’ choice to walk with the Lord was the greatest honor in his life (see 3 John v. 4).

The kind of culture we create in our homes naturally spills over to the culture around us. But it takes time and intentionality, because when we create a culture of honor, we’re going against the grain of the surrounding culture. That’s why we need God’s help. It takes faith, hard work, and lots of grace.

This leads me to return to the topic of prayer. I believe that when you pray and read the Bible together as a couple, you’re inviting Christ’s presence into your marriage. The Bible teaches that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV). In our case, I like to think of those three strands as the Lord, David, and me. Inviting the presence of Jesus into our marriage and our home changes everything.

Creating a culture of honor in our home also involved hard work. Work is a gift from God. We honor him by giving our best effort. By being faithful in the small things. “Whatever you do,” Paul wrote in Colossians 3:23, “work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” rather than for men. 

David and I share the belief that hard work is vastly underrated in today’s world. We talked about the importance of big dreams, but without plenty of hard work, they remain just dreams! So we work hard and have done our best to teach our children to work hard. 

While reflecting on ways to honor my husband, it dawned on me that the simple behaviors that go hand in hand with honor are like God’s “channel markers” for my marriage. By treating David with honor and respect, guarding my thoughts and words, believing the best about him, building him up as the spiritual leader of our home, and staying strong in my own walk with the Lord, I’m protected from hidden dangers and obstacles that could threaten our marriage. 

I believe these very same choices are key to helping you create a culture of honor in your home as well. 

• Why would honor be more desirable than fame or popularity?
• One of the Ten Commandments instructs children to obey their parents. What are some long-term benefits children can gain from learning to show honor in the home?
• What are some ways you can make obedience and hard work attractive to your children?
• What are some ways that you can help cultivate an atmosphere of honor in your home?

Want to learn more ways to honor your husband? Download a chapter of Marilynn Chadwick's Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband.