How to Talk About Finances When the Relationship Gets SeriousChikamu

Day 4: How To Talk About Finances, pt. 1

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” - Philippians 4:6

Starting a conversation about finances doesn't have to be a mood killer. Approach it with an open mind and a positive attitude. Here are four ways to get the conversation going on the right foot:

Pick the Right Moment

Choose a relaxed, stress-free time when you're both in a good headspace. It’s best not to start this conversation when one of you is tired or stressed. Maybe you can talk during a quiet dinner at home or while taking a walk in the park. A calm setting can help the talk go smoothly.

Start with a Prayer

It's never a bad idea to start a more serious conversation by inviting God into the room. So, before you begin, say a prayer together. Philippians 4:6 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Asking God to guide your conversation can help you feel more at ease. It also shows that you both want God’s help and guidance in your relationship.

Be Honest but Gentle

When you start talking, be honest about your own thoughts and situations regarding money. For example, you could say, “I believe it's important to save for the future,” or “I have some student loans I am paying off.” Sharing your own experiences first makes it easier for your partner to open up as well. Remember to be gentle and kind. Everyone has different experiences with money, and it’s important to respect each other’s feelings.

Focus on Goals, Not Numbers

Instead of focusing on how much money you have or don’t have, talk about your goals. What do you both want to achieve? Maybe you want to plan for a wedding, start a business together, or save for your future children's education. Talking about goals helps you see if you are on the same page and makes the conversation more positive.

Starting the conversation with these tips in mind will help it be a fruitful time of connection and growth.